Femme Fatalist
fightingonarrival:

*DEAD*

slimegalaxy:

I just discovered the term “spectrumslide” as an alternative to the term “genderbend” and I REALLY think people should start using it and loving it as much as I do. It takes into account both the gender and sex spectrums, so not only is it not transphobic, it also is a lot more interesting and fun to experiment with.

This is an excellent idea.

Misandry overlapping with racism. Opinions?

freemenofcolor:

daniphantomgone:

sosungalittleclodofclay:

sayakaforjustice:

I’ve noticed that the stereotype of men being violent, impulsive, abusive, angry, and perverted seems to be even stronger against nonwhite men, particularly with black men. 

Even feminists can show their racist tendencies when talking about sexism because they always seem a bit harsher towards nonwhite men. Radfems act like it’s totally okay to be racist towards Asian men just because there are supposedly vending machines in Japan that have panties in them. 

Meanwhile, they express anger at Chris Brown, a black man, for being abusive (which he was), but they defend Zoe Quinn, a white woman, who was also abusive. Also, they act like black male musicians are the only people who have sexist lyrics in their songs, with Robin Thicke being the exception. 

Does anyone else notice this?

daniphantomgone and I had a long conversation about this a while back.

There’s the intra-group male status dominance hierarchy, then there’s an inter-group male status dominance hierarchy.
So you could call racist men maintaining “white supremacy” the act of white men enforcing an inter-group male status dominance hierarchy.

With this, we can analyze tribalism, nationalism, racism, war and how that impacts males of one group vs. another.

Where out-group males and their defeat/death become symbols of one’s own masculinity.
And outgroup males are painted as dragons to slay to proves one’s manhood.
In America, this has historically meant lynching, shooting Indians, keeping other men under control, “taming” them, Manifest destiny.

As per women’s expectations of men… Some women want a man who’s “dominant but not domineering”?
Why? So he can control other men. Protect her from other men. Curb the access from strange women. Or procure resources and/or (exclusive) access to land from those men.
(But none of those skills should be turned against her in any harmful way, though.)

Then, inter-generational shame on the part of the “defeated” boys.
There’s the incentive for “hyper-masculinity” to prove one’s self with hyper individualistic capitalism, being even more willing to die/kill/be killed. etc…


This coincides with out-group willingness to kill us. (Though now with some hesitation about blow-back about racism.)
And/or to resist the blows of the oppressors.
(This historical shame can help explain their high suicide rate of Native boys).

But who are you trying to prove something to, and why?
Whether it be for our dad’s approval or potential woman’s approval, we need to learn to say “no” and we need to learn to love and respect one another, as males, differences and all.

And help undo the harmful impact of past failures to do this.

Much overlap between racism/misandry, I think.

Does anyone have an opinion on this? I’ve written on this before.

-D

Regarding OP: feminists were silent about Robin Thicke’s misogynistic lyrics?  I don’t think so. As to the extent and degree of criticism, there definitely is a racist component going on. I agree that black men (and women) receive a lot less empathy proportionate to negative judgement.

The whole women wanting a man who is “dominant but not domineering” caught my eye due to a recent conversation with a friend about how she wants to raise her two boys.  She identifies as feminist, sort of, but she has a lot of extremely problematic ideas alongside traditionalist values.

One of these relates to masculinity.  She wants to raise boys who don’t engage in this toxic cycle of dominance over others, that masculinity doesn’t have to equate to aggression.

And YET, we’ve had vehement arguments about the so-called “ideal man” and “alpha’s” versus “betas” and their various traits.  She obviously preferred alphas, whose definition was innately aggressive. At least how she defined it.

So we have a woman who identifies as feminist, who is pro-choice and has gone to actions and organized alongside me, and yet adheres to these traditional gender norms (its fucking mind boggling).  This stuff (racism, sexism) can stick no matter what we identify as.

The idea of men being a protector (more so than women, or mothers) seems to be at the root of it.  And I think daniphantomgone made an excellent point about oppressed groups feeling like they have to overcompensate, subconsciously, due to their historic and current social/economic standing.

In light of that, is it a case of internalized-misandry (in the sense of hating oneself and being a man?), or internalized-racism?  Both? 

blastortoise:

it’s so weird that people are shaming Beyonce for being sexual during her performance when literally in the speech in flawless says “We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are." Like how do you miss the point that bad

This is literally what I was thinking before falling asleep last night.

I've never much cared for the term "slut-shaming" myself. There's something about including the slur in the denunciation of propagating it that seems self-defeating. Do you think there is something better we could use? Maybe "sex-shaming" or "sexually restricting" or maybe just "sexual bullying"?

I agree that it seems self-defeating.  I marched in Slutwalks in my home city and New York City, but not because I wanted to reclaim that word.  In my view it’s always meant something negative and will be extra difficult, as well as just not worthwhile imo, to change it. 

I also didn’t agree with those wearing lingerie or less on those marches, though I totally understood what they were doing.  Nevertheless, I felt it was too close to FEMEN type antics, and would actually distract from the message of victim-blaming than highlight it.

I personally think “sex-shaming” is the better way to go, as well as more inclusive, and less gendered.

saturdaychores:

You know it’s been a successful Saturday Chores when you’ve convinced the opposition to talk about heavy metal.

scalematecapekind:

howtfdidevrynamegettaken:

truestfeminist:

digital-joker:

I remember this…Chick got caught cheating on her bf so he put the child locks on the car and locked the girl inside with the roaches.

No woman deserves to go through this. I dont care if she was cheating, woman are allowed to express their sexuality and this is basically slut shaming. Her boyfriend was probably awful and abusive anyway.

Man cheats = emotionally abusive swine
Woman cheats = strong woman expressing her sexuality
Got that?

CHEATING IS FUCKING CHEATING. WHEN YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE, YOU DEVOTE YOUR LOVE AND SELF TO THEM AND ONLY THEM. IT’S NOT FUCKING ‘EXPRESSING SEXUALITY.’ IT’S A GODDAMN BETRAYAL OF TRUST NO MATTER WHO THR FUCK YOU ARE.

1) truestfeminist is clearly a troll blog. 
2) Locking someone in a car with their (ostensible) phobia is pretty cruel.
3) If you have an established monogamous relationship, it’s pretty shitty to break that trust.
4) Not all relationships are monogamous, nor do they have to be.
5) People should be able to have multiple partners if all parties involved are on board.  It can be “slutshaming” if that was the case here, even though I hate that term and think it needs to go away.
6) if “truestfeminist” isn’t a troll blog they are laughably inane and shouldn’t be taken even remotely seriously.
Got that?

scalematecapekind:

howtfdidevrynamegettaken:

truestfeminist:

digital-joker:

I remember this…

Chick got caught cheating on her bf so he put the child locks on the car and locked the girl inside with the roaches.

No woman deserves to go through this. I dont care if she was cheating, woman are allowed to express their sexuality and this is basically slut shaming. Her boyfriend was probably awful and abusive anyway.

Man cheats = emotionally abusive swine

Woman cheats = strong woman expressing her sexuality

Got that?

CHEATING IS FUCKING CHEATING. WHEN YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE, YOU DEVOTE YOUR LOVE AND SELF TO THEM AND ONLY THEM. IT’S NOT FUCKING ‘EXPRESSING SEXUALITY.’ IT’S A GODDAMN BETRAYAL OF TRUST NO MATTER WHO THR FUCK YOU ARE.

1) truestfeminist is clearly a troll blog.

2) Locking someone in a car with their (ostensible) phobia is pretty cruel.

3) If you have an established monogamous relationship, it’s pretty shitty to break that trust.

4) Not all relationships are monogamous, nor do they have to be.

5) People should be able to have multiple partners if all parties involved are on board.  It can be “slutshaming” if that was the case here, even though I hate that term and think it needs to go away.

6) if “truestfeminist” isn’t a troll blog they are laughably inane and shouldn’t be taken even remotely seriously.

Got that?

Today is National Remind Your Fellow White Feminists That the 19th Amendment Only Gave White Women the Right to Vote Day

Wait there’s only one day for that?

theroguefeminist:

elliedoh:

So when Miley Cyrus or Katy Perry bring black girls on stage, dance with them, acknowledge their figures- it’s offensive and appropriating. But, when Nicki Minaj makes an entire video focusing around black girl’s asses and asserts her power, reduces these women to objects and flaunts her authority it’s YAAASSSSS NICKI SERVE IT. Is that because she’s black? So it’s okay for people of the same race to dance with each other but someone who does not share the same levels of melanin enters the picture, they’re doing something wrong? …idgi 

You’re completely ignoring context. In Lily Allen’s Hard out Here video, she literally says, “I don’t shake my ass cause I have a brain” as Black women shake their asses in her video. She is literally degrading the Black women who shake their asses in the media. The song also uses references to Black rappers (i.e. the title of the song referencing the rap song “Hard out Here for a Pimp” and her lyric “bragging ‘bout my cars or talking ‘bout my chains”), suggesting that Black rappers are more sexist than white male musicians (which isn’t true, there’s lots of sexism in all music genres) and also suggest the source of sexism in the music industry is Black people (Black male rappers and twerking Black female dancers).
In contrast, Nicki Minaj is reclaiming a song (Baby Got Back) that was made by a Black male rapper who celebrated (but also objectified) Black female bodies. Throughout her song, Nicki raps like a man would, talking about her sexual conquests with men and the size of their dicks, almost as a way of doing to men what they have done to women (objectifying their dicks as Sir Mix A Lot objectified Black women’s asses and many other men objectify women’s vaginas). She also brags about her sexual prowess and stays in control and aggressive in the video (she goes as far as cutting a banana representing a dick and slapping Drake’s hand away—the video critiques the male gaze). The target of mockery and disparagement in Nicki’s video is men and the male gaze, and the video works to reclaim agency from it.
In what way is Nicki asserting power over her dancers? In her video, she twerks along side her back up dancers and dances with them and interacts with them on the same level. She is just as scantily clad as they are. Lily Allen, however, stays fully covered in her video, does not dance provocatively, and thus contrasts her own pure and respectable femininity with the Black women, using their twerking and scantily clad bodies as an example of “bad” female sexuality and femininity—of women “objectifying themselves.” This is racist because it frames Black female sexuality as lesser than white femininity and antithetical to feminism.
In summary: Nicki’s video is very much a celebration of female Black beauty and sexuality coming from a Black woman. Conversely, Lilly Allen’s is using Black women as props to frame them as a vile or bad form of sexuality or being too sexual to prop up her own feminism.
So you might say, “what about Miley Cyrus? she twerks along side her Black background dancers too!” But here’s the problem: Miley Cyrus continually appropriates Black culture and also uses Black women as props. It does matter that these artists are white because in these cases the point of including the Black women is either to, in Lily Allen’s case, offset Black sexuality/femininity as too sexual or bad in comparison with her white femininity/feminism, or, in the case of Miley Cyrus, to get “street cred” and exotify her own sexuality by appropriating Black culture and using Black people as props to do so. See this analysis of Lily Allen’s Hard Out Here video and this analysis of Miley Cyrus by Black people who know a lot more about this than I do.
I haven’t seen anything about Katy Perry using Black dancers. I’ve just seen criticisms of her appropriating AAVE and other PoC cultures. I’m not sure why you brought her up, but maybe I just haven’t seen the videos in question.
Either way, it’s not like white artists having a diverse cast of back up dancers is a bad thing automatically. Here is an example of a white artist using back up dancers of other races without objectifying them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ilh1ewceco (notice this artist tackles the same issue as Lily Allen—sexism/objectification in the media—without being misogynist and racist toward other women). But the examples of Lily Allen and Miley Cyrus ARE racist and Nicki Minaj’s video isn’t the same as theirs.

this is an interesting commentary on Nicki’s new video/song.

theroguefeminist:

elliedoh:

So when Miley Cyrus or Katy Perry bring black girls on stage, dance with them, acknowledge their figures- it’s offensive and appropriating. But, when Nicki Minaj makes an entire video focusing around black girl’s asses and asserts her power, reduces these women to objects and flaunts her authority it’s YAAASSSSS NICKI SERVE IT. Is that because she’s black? So it’s okay for people of the same race to dance with each other but someone who does not share the same levels of melanin enters the picture, they’re doing something wrong? …idgi 

You’re completely ignoring context. In Lily Allen’s Hard out Here video, she literally says, “I don’t shake my ass cause I have a brain” as Black women shake their asses in her video. She is literally degrading the Black women who shake their asses in the media. The song also uses references to Black rappers (i.e. the title of the song referencing the rap song “Hard out Here for a Pimp” and her lyric “bragging ‘bout my cars or talking ‘bout my chains”), suggesting that Black rappers are more sexist than white male musicians (which isn’t true, there’s lots of sexism in all music genres) and also suggest the source of sexism in the music industry is Black people (Black male rappers and twerking Black female dancers).

In contrast, Nicki Minaj is reclaiming a song (Baby Got Back) that was made by a Black male rapper who celebrated (but also objectified) Black female bodies. Throughout her song, Nicki raps like a man would, talking about her sexual conquests with men and the size of their dicks, almost as a way of doing to men what they have done to women (objectifying their dicks as Sir Mix A Lot objectified Black women’s asses and many other men objectify women’s vaginas). She also brags about her sexual prowess and stays in control and aggressive in the video (she goes as far as cutting a banana representing a dick and slapping Drake’s hand away—the video critiques the male gaze). The target of mockery and disparagement in Nicki’s video is men and the male gaze, and the video works to reclaim agency from it.

In what way is Nicki asserting power over her dancers? In her video, she twerks along side her back up dancers and dances with them and interacts with them on the same level. She is just as scantily clad as they are. Lily Allen, however, stays fully covered in her video, does not dance provocatively, and thus contrasts her own pure and respectable femininity with the Black women, using their twerking and scantily clad bodies as an example of “bad” female sexuality and femininity—of women “objectifying themselves.” This is racist because it frames Black female sexuality as lesser than white femininity and antithetical to feminism.

In summary: Nicki’s video is very much a celebration of female Black beauty and sexuality coming from a Black woman. Conversely, Lilly Allen’s is using Black women as props to frame them as a vile or bad form of sexuality or being too sexual to prop up her own feminism.

So you might say, “what about Miley Cyrus? she twerks along side her Black background dancers too!” But here’s the problem: Miley Cyrus continually appropriates Black culture and also uses Black women as props. It does matter that these artists are white because in these cases the point of including the Black women is either to, in Lily Allen’s case, offset Black sexuality/femininity as too sexual or bad in comparison with her white femininity/feminism, or, in the case of Miley Cyrus, to get “street cred” and exotify her own sexuality by appropriating Black culture and using Black people as props to do so. See this analysis of Lily Allen’s Hard Out Here video and this analysis of Miley Cyrus by Black people who know a lot more about this than I do.

I haven’t seen anything about Katy Perry using Black dancers. I’ve just seen criticisms of her appropriating AAVE and other PoC cultures. I’m not sure why you brought her up, but maybe I just haven’t seen the videos in question.

Either way, it’s not like white artists having a diverse cast of back up dancers is a bad thing automatically. Here is an example of a white artist using back up dancers of other races without objectifying them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ilh1ewceco (notice this artist tackles the same issue as Lily Allen—sexism/objectification in the media—without being misogynist and racist toward other women). But the examples of Lily Allen and Miley Cyrus ARE racist and Nicki Minaj’s video isn’t the same as theirs.

this is an interesting commentary on Nicki’s new video/song.